I honestly cannot remember being part of any initiation ritual
that didn't feel like was a complete waste of my time, even if it was with a
group/org I knew I would like and wanted to be in. In my experience, initiation
rituals always feel like a forced show of how happy everyone is that you are
joining them, especially when it is a group where you know no one.
While origin stories,
leveling up, mythologies, symbols, etc. may be ways to symbolize your
connection to a group, ultimately these things carry very little meaning. I've
joined many a community, group, online game, etc where I experienced these
"belonging tools" but I didn't stick around. That fact was that those
groups lacked what I was looking for -- connections with other people. I wanted
to form relationships with people who cared about the same things I did. That's
what I needed to feel like I belonged, and origin stories, leveling up,
mythologies, symbols, etc. didn't make those connections that I needed happen.
For example, in
highschool I went to a summer camp for two weeks. The first week, I was with a
group of girls and we all clicked really well. It was the most fun I had ever
had at a summer camp. The second week, we got a new group, and we didn't get
along as well. The camp still went through the same initiation rituals and the
same stories and games. But my sense of belonging had changed. It had nothing
to do with belonging techniques and everything to do with the
relationships I had formed.
As another example, I recently joined a "Once Upon a
Time" group on Facebook. On the first day, I felt like I belonged. There
were no origin stories, no initiation rituals, no ways of leveling up. However,
I was in a group of people who cared about a TV show just as passionately as
did. I connected with people instantly, and this is what made me feel like I
belonged.
While I believe Dr. Howard's tools for belonging may help users develop
a sense of social presence within a group, I do not believe they are what
ultimately makes people feel like they belong. It's the relationships people
form within groups that creates belonging, and without these social
connections, people will stop participating in the group, regardless of the
belonging tools used.
To an extent, I agree with your argument that initiation rituals are most often just for show and carry very little meaning, if any at all, about instilling a sense of belonging. However, while there are certain groups and organizations whose rituals fall under this description, there are certainly those groups who initiation process do serve the specific purpose of creating that inclusive community. It all seems pretty relative. That being said, I do think your summer camp example is pretty bulletproof. I've had the same experience and I think Howard's chapter does seem to oversimplify the process of belonging. It can't be as objective as he describes. Lastly, I'm curious as to whether or not your feeling of instant belonging to the "Once Upon a Time" group could be influenced by the simple fact that Facebook facilitated that group. In other words, while it was the people in the group that made the difference, they could do so because Facebook uses all of the tools that Howard mentions.
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